Category Archives: random thoughts

Google Wave, Google Buzz… Index this *flips bird*

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188912-google-buzz_slide1Have you heard about the latest buzz word, yeah Google Buzz is the buzz and I have no idea why I need, let alone want it.

I signed up for a Gmail so I could enter competitions, sign up for pointless crap and generally give it to anyone I never wanted to find me so that all the telemarketers and internet marketers could send their rubbish their and I would never have to bother with it.

So when I found out about Buzz I thought I better check it out and find out if it offered me any real value, but of course I missed the boat. I didn’t have anyone in my contact list that I remotely wanted to connect with and so my Buzz doing a hostile takeover of my Gmail and adding everyone I emailed offered zero value to me.

I ended up with the most boring Buzz list ever, a grand total of three people autoconnected to me. Wow. I am freaking out about how cool this thing is right now. So I followed a few key journo’s and social media gurus who were all postulating on the possibilities and pathetic-ness of this new attempt to pull the reigns in on social media but after a few weeks I have totally decided that I just don’t give a shit. Not one little bit.

I have been a Facebook junky, it has purpose, in fact many purposes and I can use it how I like. Or not, whatever the case may be. Twitter is fun and connects me with the world and has an immediacy when things happen, like MJ getting snuffed, or when the iPad was released. It’s currently racing towards ten billion tweets so it must have captured a few peoples imagination.

About the best thing I can think of about Google Buzz, are the videos being created. Look at the gobsmacking quality of this launch video from the Search Giants. Got much money to through at PR? Hmm?

But this one really sums it up quite well. Google is taking over the entire planet and there is no stopping them.

Like a moth to a flame, a social media network to a digital native or an iPhone to touch-screen to a geek, Google want in on everything that is going and they ain’t afraid to beg, borrow, steal or do a complete hostile takeover of the digital devide if necessary but they seem to be fucking it it up, pardon the language, mostly of recent attempts.

And this is after the failed attempt that was or is Google Wave. I mean what the hell did that actually do? They said it was going to replace email. Um yeah, like that was going to happen.

I really really, really wanted to like Wave. It thought it was going to be super-awesome. But after fumbling around pointlessly with that for a few months, dying for an ‘invitation’ at first made it appear all the more important to get, but ended up as a shite way for a Beta test.

Then I thought, no hang on, it has to be useful doesnt it? Google created it! It must be super-awesome! So I convinced a bunch of work colleagues to sign in sign up and sent out invitations for a Wave collaborative creative session.

It was so dam confusing and the notification process was non existant, oh that’s right because it replaces email, that no one knew when we were going to be online and sharing or even if someone had posted something for your to see.

So we thought, lets all sign in at the start of the day and then sit there and watch it in real time. Cause that sounds like fun right? Hell no.

We started telling each other stories off-line using email about whether you were signed in and had seen this video (insert link from email) and then realising that it was just utter non sensical, un-user friendly rubbish.

But again, the videos are amazing. This Wave of Pulp Fiction is jaw dropping. Pity the real thing isn’t anything like it.

Now if you were really interested in what is going on in the world then you would know that this is really what it is actually all about.

I swear this is the best video ever made in the whole world.

May I have some headphones that don’t suck please?

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iPod bog standard plugs

iPod bog standard plugs

I have spent my fair share of money on headphones.

In face it has occurred to me recently that headphones, in my case are like shoes and jackets. You can never have too many different kinds.

What also occurred to me recently that I have mistakenly been tricking myself into headphone complacency. Not only do I not give a shit anymore, I will put up with such utter crap performance that I deserve to have fallen off the face of the music scene and retire into a comfy chair with my slippers one, listening to my over priced ridiculously kitch B&O home stereo. After a spot of croquet.

The Apple standard headphones that come with any iPod and now iPhone are just ok.They aren’t shit, but they aren’t fucking fantastic either. And this is my land of complacency. I had been telling myself it was a decent enough sacrifice on sound quality and form over function. You can turn the music or phone on and off. Yippee.

Sennheiser CX 300

Sennheiser CX 300

But they get ripped out by anything coming with in a bees dick of a whisper near your cord and in actual fact mine just fall out by themselves all the time.

And there is no such thing as bass response unless you are jamming the dam things so far into your canal with your thumbs that it really isnt safe or healthy.

Another $100 later, there come the Sennheiser CX-300, widely touted and written about as great little headphones.

But do you really want to shove these things into the pits of your canals?

Sony MDR 7506

Sony MDR 7506

If you do, can you actually really honestly tell me, that that feels Comfortable. Yes with a capital C. Comfortable?

I don’t bloody think so, these things really squish into your ear with their plush plastic whatever polymer surround, and the bass is vastly better than the iPod standards but comfortable? No.

And the cable becomes some sort of trasnporter for every vibration and jiggle of it, so that sounds like those made in the Star Wars movies are constantly interrupting my sweet tunes. No thanks. We want silent operating cables that glue to our head and plugs that dont fall out but don’t feel like too much ear wax.

Bose overear Headphones

Bose overear Headphones

So at some stage I thought it must be time to get serious. Serious fucking headphones. Those ones that you see in all the film clips in studios. Big mofo cans that cup over your whole dam ear and immerse in studio quality sound. For a lot of money. That’s right, when it comes to the big daddy of earphones in the music industry many a professional that the industry standard with the best lows and highest highs are the Sony MDY 7506 Studio Monitor headphones. So I bought some. They sound amazing. Period.

But do I really want to walk the streets of my inner western suburb with doof doof domes advertising that I truly am worth rolling for more than just my sneakers?

No, not really and that is how I feel when I am wearing them anywhere but in the comfort of my own home now and then, like a bulls-eye I wear them over each ear.

But just to be sure I am not convinced yet and so I have to go and spend another exorbitant absurb amount on a set of the best Bose headphones you can find. And they are somewhat smaller than the Sony versions and the sound quality is quite excellent, different and not as honest as the Sony, but deep and sweet and worthy of your favourite tracks to be sure, but do I need to wear these down the road either? I would roll me for a pair of these fuckers.

No & Olufsen. Just no.

No & Olufsen. Just no.

So what do I want? I just want to whinge that I have spent an enormous amount of money on ridiculous headphones from all across the world and apart from the ridiculous Bang & Olufsen attachments that I haven’t tried, I am at a complete loss for a decent set of headphones to wear at most of the times.

Do the perfect headphones exist?

Can I have some please?

Another one bites the dust

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Michael Jackson in 'that' pose from Billie Jean

Michael Jackson strikes 'that' pose from Billie Jean

It was just one of those days yesterday.

First Farrah, then Michael and then the stupid twisted rumors that Jeff Goldblum had also suffered a fatal climbing accident while on set in NZ but of course that was just a hoax.

While I was saddened about Farrah Fawcett I was also moved by her plight to enlighten the world with her tragic experience through cancer, I thought it was gutsy and showed great character, but ultimately I was as ready for her demise as she obviously was.

Michael Jackson’s death was a complete and unexpected shock by contrast. The news broke in Australia early Friday 26 June, around 8am I saw a post on Facebook then logged in to Twitter to see the gazillions of tweets start piling up. Within seconds they were in their thousands. It was true, the self proclaimed King of Pop was dead.

I idolised MJ as a child and spent countless hours in front of the chunky old piece of furniture that was our TV back then, practising the zombie dance in Thriller, the moonwalk from Billie Jean and every single step I could possibly mimic. I actually thought I was pretty good and would probably end up as one of his dancers one day touring the world in his entourage.

I still have Thriller on vinyl. I am deeply saddened and in a funny way disgusted in myself for not supporting him more in recent times which is a weird feeling. One of those – you-only-know-what-you’ve-got-when-it’s-gone kind of feelings. I truly get choked with waves of sadness when I see the appalling reports and gross distortions of his life that are now flooding our airwaves. His face sliding off, wearing face masks and holding little boys hands while wearing pajamas, defending his thoughts about how normal it might be to have children sleep in bed with him.

All of it is a reflection of his life, and a lot of it may seem utterly bizarre but I think most of it is just out of context. I believe he had an extraordinary life that was filled with sadness in the end. I don’t think he actually agreed to do 50 shows on his return to the stage at the O2 arena in London, but that promoters blew it out to that and it was outside of his control. He was a weakening older frail looking man in his last few appearances leading up to his death that I was aware of, preferring a life of recluse while preparing for his comeback tours.

I am even more saddened by the news reports that are now flooding the internet, almost grinding it to a halt, the sketchy exposes we will be subjected to over the next days, weeks, months already outrage me and I can only hope that now, in death, poor Michael can finally find some ultimate peace. He will live on in my heart for the rest of my years as a true musical genius – a pioneer of incredible dance moves – a fashionista – something of a freak – and someone who was most of all completely misunderstood.

The early adopter never learns

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Dead iPhone

Dead iPhone

There is no way to describe my hell right now as much as just plain outright disappointing. My love for Apple waning, my hatred for Symbian growing, my faith in OS similarly dying a slow death and my hatred for smartphones that don’t cope with any of the simplest tasks growing exponentially.

Match this with a disdain for new the new pricing structure of the Apple Macbooks combined with the inability for the MacBook Air that I currently type on to connect easily to a LAN connection and I am one not happy Nokia frustrated iPhone fucked up camper! I cant even take a call on my iPhone at the moment! What. The. Fuck?

I am pretty nerdy. I know its Friday night. But a lot of my personal and business life intertwines these days between consulting and graphic design and study and the iPhone has become a tool that I rely on, I just never realised how much.

I have paid my $100+ AUD for the right to call myself an iPhone developer and get the pre release software which all went pretty well, but since the latest version OS 3.0 software went public my developers version beta has gone troppo and I cant use it any more.

I have done everything to rectify this problem with no result. Which brings me to my hatred for the Nokia N96. Oh, My, Fucking, God I hate this operating system. I am trying to refrain from obscene language but this useless swamp donkey of a mobile OS should be put down seriously.

Could anyone actually build a slower, less responsive, laggy, buggy, shitty, OS for a handheld device than the peeps that bring us Nokia phones and Symbian? I hated everything about reverting back to this phone including paying $5 to download song and then not being able to find it anywhere on the bloody thing.

So having said all of that, I actually realised how much I appreciate the iPhone, its just a huge pity that it doesn’t work at the moment because of beta softare that now renders my phone as useless as titts on a bull. When will I ever learn?

The Blow Waves release first EP

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The Blow Waves self titled EP

The Blow Waves self titled EP

Self titled, the Blow Waves EP finally hit the iTunes store this week – and it’s a ripper.

I maybe biased with my best mate being in the band, but as an avid music fan I can honestly say this is good stuff. Just listen to the magical well crafted creepy counter melodies in ‘Attack of the Puppet People’, or the unbelievably infectious ‘Night Rider’ and you will know I am telling no porkies.

The band have gone with a 4 track EP before hitting the international circuit before returning home to record a full length album and there is not 1 of those 4 songs that doesn’t hit the mark. ‘The Beginning of Love’ is a beautifully crafted darker sounding single and I think is a strong contender for commercial air play.

Night Rider is undeniably my favourite and you can listen to the track almost in its entirety here as I did a short 3 minute video for Uni that highlighted the track for my documentary.

Restless Robots is an instant classic and deserves to make a showcase in the next George Ramero Zombie flick with it’s B52s inspired power pop. The boys really know how to construct a good song and this EP highlights just how much, from opener to closer and strength to strength these 5 boys are going to be stars mark my words.

Catch a live set now if you can, before your paying $100 to see them at Rod Laver Arena, or catch up with them on the interweb:

Bad service spreads like mozarella

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I had the worst bad service nightmare situation recently that I just have to spread the news and maybe deal up some retribution to a total ass who doesn’t appreciate repeat custom.

I catch up with a mate for a cheap pizza lunch every Friday at Cafe on Burke, that’s right – CAFE ON BURKE SHOP 1 number 50 Burke Street MELBOURNE , for a cheap but usually good pizza under $10 that is normally served in a pretty quick manner as like most, we get 1 hour for lunch.

So today, Friday June 12 was no different although the place was slightly busier than normal at 12:30pm when we arrived. I ordered in advance of my bud rocking up cause I knew he was even more pressed for time than normal.

He arrived a good 10 mins after I had ordered and we joked about his late arrival which really was my fault cause I couldn’t stand out in the cold any longer and decided my best course of action was to wait inside after having ordered.

Not the best pizza in town

Not the best pizza in town

At around 10 to 1 we started to worry our pizza was getting late as many other patrons around us were getting served. We let it slide, it was a busy lunch day Friday. At 5 past 1 my mate was getting really cranky and at 10 past 1 he decided to ask the guys behind the counter if our pizza order had perhaps been missed as it was now a good 40 mins since we ordered.

The chef then grappled around behind the counter, slips of papers resembling orders being flung around and made some sort of general announcement that our order was up ‘next’. This didn’t go down well. We quickly ascertained that after a 40 minute wait that if our pizzas hadn’t even hit the oven yet we were in for a very late lunch and promptly told them this wasn’t good enough and that we were leaving.

Which we did.

We were a good 100 metres down the road when a frumpy, frothing at the mouth, Italian man cam thundering down the road screeching obscenities in our general direction.

What ensued is not suitable for print due to the poor nature of this mans vehemence directed at us over our poor custom and disgraceful behavior for walking out in a busy period when our order had only been taken 10 mins ago. This he threatened us, brandishing a piece of paper with someones order on it, and a stamp that clearly said 12:59, but which also quite clearly was not ours, was a ridiculous expectation of a busy popular pizza house and HOW DARE WE leave without paying for our can of coke? I was so over the wait that I forgot to pay for my coke as we left. Woops.

Let me say that this kind of customer service goes down with me about as well as swallowing razor blades and is about as popular with my friend as is masturbating with a cheese grater, and as we stood there faced by this raving lunatic of a business owner I really had no idea how to react. I thought that we acted quite normally, 40 mins in the CBD waiting for lunch to be served deserved a walk out – ok I shoulda maybe paid for the drink but hey I was in a spin and didn’t feel like much else but eating something.

So at the wrath of a foaming overweight Italian very close to Lygon street after just having watched Underbelly I thought better of doing a runner and went to pay for my coke, but let me tell you – don’t hedge your bets at this place. One day its all $9 pizzas and smiles for miles in 15 minutes, the next its ‘no soup for you!’ foaming crazy men chasing you out of cheap diners down Burke street for 2 fucking dollars. Run while you still have the chance.

Robot guitars – another step closer to God

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I dont think I can take much more. Gibson, the guitar made by God himself and planted on this earth in 1957 or thereabouts to keep us sane has gone robotic.
I could die a happen man today if I could lay my hands on one, actually just knowing that they exist is enough.

The Gibson Robot Les Paul

The Gibson Robot Les Paul

But is it truly robotic I hear you say? What does it do? Play itself? Thankfully the answer to that is no. Playstation Ultimate Rockstar can rest easy yet nervously on the shelves at department stores for a while longer yet.

This babies main features are that it TUNES itself perfectly. And that is no mean feat, and not just standard A440 tuning either, it can do just about all of the bizarre stuff that made Sonic Youth and the Smashing Pumpkins sound so fucking cool in the 90s grunge era.

Every broken a string in the middle of a song in a set on stage? No? Well let me tell you how much it SUCKS. If it was a vacuum cleaner it would be Dyson bagless super sucker. It really sucks hard. And changing a string in between songs is not something anyone really wants to do cause it takes time. Not anymore. The Gibson Robot Guitar will have that broken fucker off and a new one wound on in nano-seconds with its unique (and patented) String Up mode. And tuned perfectly!

Purists of the 1957 flametop would probably dive head first into a bucket of infected pigs blood before they would play a robotic Gibson guitar that tuned itself but for me its the perfect blend of geek heaven meets guitar fetish and I want one more than the Rolex I have been crapping on about getting for my 40th birthday for who knows how long…ok maybe not that much, but quite a bit.